"The swift man gets there faster but the slow man grows wise along the way" -Giselle
-but maybe the swift man was already wise, maybe he was the wisest man of all, maybe he was nothing at all
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He worked hard 16 hours a day not because he needed the money which he made plenty of but because he was consumed by it. Money engulfed his thoughts and was the power that drove him to ignore his family's emotional needs. It closed a gap in his consciousness but he was not aware of the hole it had created.
After two years of asking from his wife, he caved one day sick in bed from overwork, promising her he would see the guru she felt would allow him to let go of his attachment to money and his inability to sit and enjoy himself with a cup of tea or coffee. He walked into the guru's house with distrust and the man dressed in all white motioned him to sit. The man then placed a suitcase on the table in front of him, opened it, and revealed a full suitcase of $1,000 bills. "rip all of these bills in half and you will be free" The task was painful at first, overwhelmed by confusion. However, the man in white was watching him from the couch helping him to put those thoughts behind him and focus on his homework. This money could buy a house, a car, a lot of fine wine he thought. rip, rip, rip His thoughts soon because more altruistic. This money could buy food, housing for the poor. It could start a charity or aid in scientific research. rip, rip, rip The money became just paper, thoughts of his family and love took over, ripping the bills with joy. He realized his weaknesses in one rush of mental thought. How silly he had been. Money wasn't important anymore. The leaf blower makes noise while the rake sleeps.
The leaf blower wakes crying children from their naps. The rake sends happy dreams their way. The leaf blower gets cranky and breaks. The rake is picked up again by a boy of 8 who has fun with the rake, playing in the piles of leaves, aware of the birds chirping, enjoying time outside without thinking of his video game collection inside. The rake is brought up at dinner "I don't think the leaf blower should get fixed" the boy said. This boy was special. Although he was denied, he kept at it his whole life only ever using a rake to take care of fallen leaves on the ground. If you believe in something so much that you never give up, you are a rare individual who will leave a much greater footprint than you think The other day I needed gas, as one does when they go vroom vroom with their cars. After leaving the gas station booth with a gatorade I drove out of the parking lot getting 100 yards before realizing with sudden anxiety that I had left without putting the $10 of gas in my car that I had already paid for.
Since I have very little money I was more overcome than usual with worry that I would lose the $ if I didn't get back there quick. I made the mistake of making a sharp left u-turn into the left lane going the opposite direction. A mistake I say because I could have caused an accident as the woman behind me pointed out. She herself almost causing an accident as she violently halted her car next to me, rolled down the window and with a face resembling a tomato injected with growth hormone screaming "what were you thinking, you could have caused an accident..." I sat there observing and felt the oneness of the situation. I had acted out of anxiety and so was she without thinking of "what if's". What if I had had a bad day and was a suicidal psychotic individual who could go over the edge with a little push? Thank god that was not the case but it was comforting to me in the moment watching her slightly irrational anger thinking that I liked that life was unpredictable. That people weren't robots statistically thinking through their every move. |
AuthorI love to dance, my true self naked to anyone whose watching. -G Categories
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