I just found this blind date script that I wrote 11 years ago (MArch 16th, 2004) I had to post it

Blind date script 
victims: Abraham Ceemo and Katriana Shilaka

A - I'm really looking for a wise woman from 10-45 with a nice rack and an intellectual side, whose not afraid to burp and fart and admit it. But if it doesn't smell like flowers, she's out.

K- When I'm shopping for a guy, there is one thing he must have, a hairy ass. I don't know what it is maybe I relate them to bunnies. 
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A-Well, here is goes, wish me luck god. (knocks on katriana's door)
K- Hi! what a pleasant surprise, your physique is just splendid, I'm Katriana by the way
A- I'm Abraham, my friends call me Abe the babe
K- Hold on one sex, I mean sec, I'm gonna go get a coat
A- How about I just wrap you in some bubble wrap and we can pop all night?
K (comes back from the other room) So, where are we going?
A- I was thinking about skinny dipping in the luscious waters of lake michigan
K- Scandalous!
A- (walking to car) So, what do you do when your not batting those gorgeous eyes of yours?
K- (blushes) well, I'm a preschool teacher by day and stripper at night, u?
A- Now that my drug dealing days are over I am training to be a minister of the highest caliber
K- Hot, to be honest I've never believed in god
A- Me neither, but ever since I was a kid I had fancied Mary's bod, so you know how it is. 
K- You make me tingle. Simmer down now!

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A- My first impression of Kat was your average Pamela look-alike with a splash of Gwyneth and then a hint of Britney. She is one hot cheetah!! 

K- Abe is a cool guy, I like the hairy ass look, it really works for me. The minister thing is also a huge turn-on! Jesus is my #1 hotty. I would definitely go out with Abe again.